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So, the monkey and I happened by Leather Etc. in San Francisco yesterday afternoon.

While I've never been overly impressed with their quality, they do have a lot in the way of selection, and that's been my primary interest.
Every time I pass by there, I catch some of their display windows and it made me wonder.

After all, the monkey now sports some Breast Reduction scars, like at least a few of my friends do, both my trans friends as well as those who, like the monkey, had the procedure done to alleviate severe back pain.

Some Background

In doing breast reduction work, there are basically three types of incisions they can do, shown well at the bottom of This Page. In short, the monkey had the most intrusive type of incision: the "anchor", and coming to terms with these new scars has carried some stresses.

Anyway my thought is that a chest harness serves to draw the eye away from the scars, and by contrast, makes people look at the gear. I was even hoping for something that went under the breast and hid some of the scarring.

While we found a few things that were interesting looking, what we eventually decided on was an "X" harness, with an O-ring in the center and buckles in back, attached to another O-ring. It's made of exceptionally soft, almost glove-quality leather, and the monkey wears it really well.

If you've been to the Folsom street fair, or just tried to visualize the word "beefcake" you know the kind of thing I'm talking about. This type of harness is nearly synonymous with the gay leather culture.

Putting it to Use

While my initial interest was in having the monkey wear the harness like a collar, as an "around the house" sort of mark of being in a submissive mode, or perhaps just as a "wearable handle" to use to toss her around a bit, once she got home and tried it on, she bent over the bed, and I experimentally tried her from behind, in a sort of "so if I were to do this, would you be comfortable with that." Was he ever.

At that point I discovered what I should have known all along: It's like wearing a set of handlebars for sex from behind: Snug, stable, comfortable. And with her over the side of the bed, we went at it. It was awesome. And unlike most of the other gear we own, this is designed not to restrict movement, but to enhance it.

So again, I say, dear SF Leatherman's Community: Why didn't you tell us these things were this awesome?!

topthemonkey: (Default)

The monkey and I have joined our local dungeon/play space. We went to orientation earlier this week where we toured the facility (but didn't play because the monkey had forgotten his ID), and last night, we used the place for the first time.

I should mention that when I met the monkey two years ago, playing in public was very much a hard limit. I wouldn't say "very much." Some time at a fetish con, and living with a few kink-friendly people have changed that somewhat, but a new place with new people is still a stressful experience.

We got there around eight, after having dinner with incredibly slow service in a normally-good Mexican chain, but the monkey was having a bizarre personal fixation problem: he wanted a new pair of shoes, because he's been stubbing his toes rather a lot lately. In fact, he had been obsessing over this for most of the evening, despite the fact that I felt he wouldn't be wearing them most of the time. In my own entry I'll explain this. Anyway, after signing in, we ran out again to do this:we were in an unfamiliar area, and finding a shoe store proved rather stressful. We eventually found a PayLess, but I'm generally not a fan since they tend to fall apart. The monkey did his usual retail-female-uncertainty thing, trying on several pairs of open-toed things and mid-height heels (I did not try on any open-toed, and I wasn't being uncertain I was trying to find a pair that fit) (neither of which would do anything to offset the accident-proneness), and we eventually settled on a nice set of male dress shoes for him.

I got him back to the playspace, stripped him to his underwear, took his glasses, and put him into a small floor-cage while I went and used the bathroom. I took out some toys and laid them out on a chair and on top of the cage, and went and attached one half of our suspension cuffs to some ceiling-chains that were nearby. I exposed his back, and his butt, and got going.

However, after bare-handing him a few times, I started to see the angry expression: the expression that shows the monkey's going to break, going to snap and take an alternate, Sybil-like tone, and get aggressive with me. He growled a few times. I pushed a bit, encouraged him to communicate more, told him it could stop any time, and we kept going. I used a crop, a rod (both very nice things), as well as both of my deerskin floggers on him. (I love this new flogger, it's just so pretty. I really need to put a picture of it up here at some point.1.) He told me that his arms were tired (I said my shoulders were starting to hurt and I'm trying to be more conscious of such things since I've started regularly going to a chiropractor), and he needed something to lean against, and I moved him over to a very heavy St. Andrews Cross: really well made, with adjustable restraint points. I put the suspension cuffs up on those, and as his tits were just straddling the "X", put a set of clamps on those as well, so if he backed off, the chain would tug. I continued flogging, quite hard, with the Big Flogger, really developing a good rhythm and form.2, moving along to my other toys, the rubber one occasionally, covering his entire back side pretty well. I wasn't going for catharsis or anything like that, but it got to the point where I could hear him sobbing, and I looked and found his nose runny. I got him some tissues and let him down, and after some brief cleanup we headed to the "cooldown area", a lounge of sorts, and met some of the group. The timeline there is a little messed up. I was crying a good portion of the time I was on the cross, the Top knew and asked me if I wanted to continue and I said I did.

I cannot express enough how awesome and comfortable these people made me feel. While I of course don't mention names (hell, even our own), it was a very friendly, fun crowd, easily relatable, and very accommodating. I got a chance to play show and tell with our suspension cuffs, and tell brag about the deal we got on them, and the like.

After some others proceeded in for another round of playing, we did too. This time we wound up in the "medical play" room, where I tied the monkey to a stirrup table with a plethora of a rope, put a spreader bar between his legs, and gagged him with a roll of vetwrap (as in, just popped the roll in his mouth). This is the condensed version. A few people walked through the room while we were going at it, all were respectful, none conversed unless I started it, but I tend to like over-the-shoulder conversation. At one point, a couple giving a tour peeked quietly in. The Top waved at them. It was very surreal.

We hadn't brought any lube, or a vibrator, unfortunately: I had told the monkey to, but he had felt that he wouldn't be at that level of comfort on this trip. Consequently the only lube we had was some SurgiLube that was already there, and I worked him up for what was probably close to 45 minutes before he dried out and my arm started getting tired. He tried to tell me through the gag that he needed more lube and how to better finger-fuck me, but I was trying to be cautious as we'd never used this product before. He seemed okay with it, so I slathered it in, and went back at it. Another few minutes of (ahem) deep tissue massage, and he was ready to come. However, I need to mention something here...when I thought he was getting close, I *ordered* him to come, and he did, within a few seconds. This...amazes me. It's been a stressor before, both for him and for me, gives him performance anxiety, and he handled it so well. I think a big factor in that is I'm trying to let myself go and be more obvious when I feel myself getting close and the Top has also gotten better at picking up on when I'm on the verge of orgasm.

Again, cleanup. Again, back out to the cooldown area. The ride home was nice, too, we talked a lot. I shared some radically honest things about an ex, and the best sex we had ever had (the ex and I). I also related that because this dungeon requires condoms for vaginal and anal penetration, that I didn't think I'd be having much sex there. I revealed to the monkey that there's a loss of some sensation since my hernia surgery. Not a lot...just coupled with the additional loss of sensation of a condom, it's just not...nice. I like the closeness of flesh on flesh; I think once the monkey gets his wisdom teeth out and his TMJ under better control, we may do more oral there.

Thoughts for future visits:

  1. I need some kind of transporable gear carrier. I ideally like the "street salesman" case, a suitcase with unfoldable legs type thing, but other things are workable and my mind's now going at it. I am in favor of buying a case from For Your Nymphomation, perhaps this. Or just a good duffel bag.
  2. The lockers they have there are just a few inches too short for some of our impact toys. But they bend.
  3. Other people I'm working with have expressed nervousness at public play but feelings of being okay with being a helper, one to go get water and get me toys, and otherwise observe. I'm thinking a blue play-collar (get it?) for this purpose might be great. Oh look, sub-shop's having a sale, and this is on sale too.
  4. Buying some food in advance. I'm thinking hitting the nearby subway would have probably been a good idea. This kind of stuff is exhausting. I really only like Subway sandwiches immediately after they're made. Otherwise the dressing soaks in and it's oogy.
  5. Other things, I'm sure. Things the monkey will add, I'm sure.

1. Hell, I need to have one of the slaves photo-catalogue all our toys here, and rate them on cost, history, and pain factor.
2. I believe flogging is somewhat an art and a technique, and I'd actually like to make up a flogger Kata

topthemonkey: (Default)
The monkey's comments are in italics.

After dinner, the monkey tried on a new blindfold I had gotten him, and it just looked stunning along with the rest of his outfit. I had him look around the interior of the car for a roll of duct tape that's usually around there, but we couldn't find it, so I just had him sit quietly, as I drove, speaking in a slight drawl, roleplaying only slightly that I'd just picked him up, hitchhiking, trying to set a scene. (This all felt a bit cheesy until I was slapped across the face for talking back. Not being able to see it coming definitely made it more shocking, and I took it more seriously after that).

I let him know that I had a (sexual) purpose for him, and that if he cooperated, he might just get out of this alive.

We drove for a while. The monkey was expecting me to head home. I headed...somewhere else. When I screeched to a stop, had the monkey take off her seatbelt, and pulled her out of the van (blindfold still on) (causing me to sadly kick my leftover pasta out of the car, which I was informed of later), and threw her down, violently, to the wet grass, laying on her back, maybe then she realized we weren't at home.

Maybe it was the few moments of contemplation I gave her.

Maybe it was the sound of the parkway, nearby, cars happily whizzing by at 60 or more. (This definitely scared me. That was when I really knew something was going to happen.)

Either way, I pulled her miniskirt up, and began to poke, prod, and play. She began to object, (I don't remember objecting!) and I told her: "Another word, and I've got a rock here that I can put to your skull. You'll get me off whether you're conscious or not." (I remember THAT part though. Apparently he actually was holding a rock, I learned later.)

And then I got right down to it: I pulled her underwear aside, and I [consensually! Read that LJ admins!] raped her. I finished, and told her to get back in the fucking car. (Which I had some trouble doing, as I was still blindfolded and very much out of sorts.)

We drove to a nearby computer, where I managed to print out the coupon for those cuffs I had intended to buy earlier that evening.

Throughout the night, my pet seemed slightly dazed (very appropriate word for how I felt then), as though the whole experience had been surreal (not surreal per se, but this sort of thing has never happened to me before. I wouldn't call it subspace, but I was feeling deeply submissive and just very- I guess "small" is the best word I can think of to describe it). I was, at several points, legitimately concerned that I had played "too hard too soon", but the monkey expressed that she had in fact enjoyed it, and wanted to do more of this.

We proceeded back to the adult shop to pick up the cuffs (which I am sure we will photograph and put up in a future post) and the sales kid seemed to be doing a lot of paperwork with our purchase. As it turns out, although the price we were quoted was $79, the *scanned* price was $160, so in order to cover his own ass, the kid had to like, photocopy the price tag, etc etc. Total price was around $62.

The cuffs are gorgeous, but have a few flaws to them I don't like: they're fur-lined, which is difficult to clean, sheds, and can chafe a bit MORE than straight well-made leather. Also, apparently, one of the buckles was put on backwards, which makes one of the cuffs a serious pain in the ass to get off. (I've got plans to have the rivet popped and the buckle put right, shouldn't cost more than a few dollars).
topthemonkey: (Default)
So, periodically, throughout our relationship, the monkey and I have discussed "hot" scenarios, things that made us both rather aroused, but were too risky and complicated to pursue immediately. Because of this impracticality, the monkey has felt it necessary to express her doubts at my ability to make such scenes happen. That was so not why!

So, last night, I decided that the monkey and I would go shopping for a few toys. The monkey pleased me by dressing in a most sexy manner (she was wearing *that* skirt). While the particular adult shop we frequented was decent in terms of their selection of most other items (lubes, insertables, videos, et cetera)...they were sadly lacking in most of the kinds of things we tend to go for...with a few notable exceptions.

We picked up a set of tweezer clamps, with the cute little bells. These have the beautiful purpose of both breaking housemates (does everything have to be about that?!) AND embarrassing the monkey if the monkey is not uber careful.

We picked up a replacement blindfold (the one I have is stretched to hell -- it fits me, but not the monkey).

And then I saw *them*. Randomly placed on some inflatable doll, hanging from the ceiling, was a set of reasonably nice suspension cuffs. They're quite elaborate affairs, with a brushed steel grip bar, panic release snaps, fur lined (I normally do not like this at all, but I realize that it can be a "snugging" feature on this particular set). I had the clerk (whom we later came to pity) get them down for us, and let me know the price ($79). After checking out the tooling and quality, I decided it was worth it.

The clerk looked carefully around and said "I'm not supposed to say this, but if you go to our site and fill out this survey you get a coupon for 25 percent off one item in the store."

I had him place the cuffs on hold, and went out to dinner with the monkey for the evening.

Tomorrow I will update about the events that took place after dinner.

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October 2012

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