The Top has been trying to punish me into taking care of myself. You cannot punish depression out of someone. I mean, it's an additional motivation to take care of myself, yeah. But mental illness is strong and deep-seated.
Tonight he decided I need to see a therapist because I'm not getting better. He's been working a lot since we moved here, but he's just noticing this now? It wasn't clear from all the times I explicitly said "I'm not getting better, I need help"? He feels badly for not being able to "fix" me himself. I am not a thing to be fixed. He says he can't take this anymore, can't take a slave who doesn't care properly for herself (and therefore her Master's property).
On the one hand, finally I can get some fucking help with this shit. On the other hand, why didn't we have this conversation months ago? I feel hurt that addressing my mental health issues on a deeper level is only a priority when he decides it affects him sufficiently.