topthemonkey: (Default)

The views expressed are only the Top's, and not the monkey's.

I don't like 99 percent of all porn. It does nothing for me.

Recently, when speaking with a coworker (don't even ask how this stuff comes up), I said:

"It's like watching someone eat an ice cream cone. I don't enjoy watching other people eat something I want to have. If I don't have access to the same ice cream, it's just going to annoy me." (And chances are, they won't be eating one of the flavors I like, but I left that out of the conversation). Even more annoying, I guess, is when you see someone trying to act like they're REALLY ENJOYING that ice cream, but you know they're just faking it.

Strip clubs are even worse. It's like someone waving an ice cream cone in your face, and charging you for it, but the most they'll do is dump it in your lap where you can't eat it."

I think that pretty much sums it up.

pr0n

Sep. 14th, 2008 05:13 pm
topthemonkey: (Default)
The Top, on his desktop: "female ninja rape 3"?

me: Oh, did it finish downloading?


"The ancestors of Maria Ozawa have searched for centuries to capture her beauty and also to destroy her mystical powers. Maria Ozawa stars in a time traveling porn of epic proportions! The movie starts off as a princess Ninja fighting the bad ninja clan, they capture Maria's ancestor, tie her up, whips her, throat gag her, and forces her to have sex in all various ways...In the present time Bad guys have been searching for the ancestor of the Princess Ninja for years, after she is discovered in the present time she is tricked, they capture her and she's forced to have sex in various positions. They should Be careful though after the sex scene is over she gets revenge..."



All right, there are some keywords that will get me to watch pretty much any porn film: costume drama, historical fiction (can't find a link to the one I'm thinking of), parody, adaptation of a literary classic. comics-based, and now, time travel.
topthemonkey: (Default)
It appears some changes are going to be made. I am, until further notice, forbidden from consuming porn. Watching it, downloading it, reading it. I am forbidden from having any on the Top's computers (these are all computers as I have none of my own at this time). I'm not sure how I feel about this.

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topthemonkey

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