topthemonkey: (Default)

One of my rules is that the slavegirls (both of them) are to be showered, changed, and have taken their meds and eaten a meal within an hour of waking. I'm more lax about this on the weekends, but during the week I want it to be law.

Today, I IM'd at 15:50 to find that the whole showering/changing thing got neglected. I'm not happy about this -- I expect this to be a pretty base, ingrained behavior.

Both girls have been ordered to shower and change, within the next half hour. Once that's done, I've told the monkey that she has to wear a diaper under her clothes. This isn't a "sexy" thing for her, it makes her cringe. I explained it simply as "if you're not going to take care of yourself the way I expect, then I'll treat you a little more like it." I've told her, simply, that if she needs to use the bathroom, that she will wet herself, then will change herself. She's not to sit on the toilet at all until tomorrow.

I feel it's an effective punishment. (She'll likely have to wear one to bed as well).

As for the OtherGirl, well...I know the diapers we have (we got them from a friend for whom wearing such things is NOT a punishment) will not fit her, so I will probably be dealing with her in a more corporal manner when I get home.

topthemonkey: (Default)

This is a todo list for both the Monkey and for NewSlavegirl.
 

Either/Both of you:

-- All laundry done. Working on it.
-- All dishes done. Check.
-- Office cleaned (including tossing out cardboard -- keep the sewing machine box).
-- Ham cleaned and off bone to free up fridge space.
-- Medications, Showers, Feedings as expected.
 

Monkey:

-- DMV Stuff  Canceled due to time and transportation issues.
-- Progress update on school?
-- Please phone home and have your mom send more emergency meds, and ask her to look for your keys.
-- Try to get those shoes and books mailed out (IM me for the address).

NewSlavegirl:

-- Progress on your book reports: Erotic Slavehood and The New Bottoming Book.
-- Progress on the sewing projects you've been given.
-- Do the writing assignment we spoke about today (ie how your experiences thusfar differ from your expectations, and if those coincide with your desires. Check.
-- Write a blog entry today.
-- Walk your laps. Cancelled due to illness.

topthemonkey: (Default)

So I gave the monkey a mantra recently. Something I want her to repeat and always to remember.

"I am a good slave. My master loves me very much. Sometimes I make mistakes. Sometimes I need to be punished. But I am always loved."

I've had her repeat it to me many times. I need her to know she's loved, and deserves love.

topthemonkey: (Default)
This is everything, I suppose, that I expect from my slavegirl.
Standing Expectations:
Note: some of these are obvious.

* Not allowed to self-harm
* Not allowed to drink alcohol without asking
* Not allowed ice cream without asking or gelato or sorbet or frozen custard or frozen yogurt
* Not allowed to smoke (anything).
* Not allowed to call herself stupid, or say demeaning things of herself.
* Not allowed to be alone with X. (Mentioned in other entries).
* Not allowed to masturbate without permission.

* Expected to wear collar 24/7. Which is pretty easy since it's locked on.
* Expected to accept compliments graciously. I think this means without scowling/protesting/glowering
* Expected to lay out my clothing each morning. Or the night before.
* Expected to shower and eat a meal within an hour of waking.
* Expected always have water, medication, and a snack (like an energy bar) when we go out.
* Expected to get me off if asked. Does not have to be with the aid of an orifice.
* Expected (in general) to call me Sir.
* Expected to do laundry. Before the Top runs out of pants (this has happened several times).

Expectations We've played with (only apply if noted)

* Required to ask to leave my presence, unless ordered to do so. (Currently trying this).
* Required to ask to get into my bed.
* Required to shave body regularly.
* Required to wear uniform (skirt/shirt).
* Required to do schoolwork of various types. When school is in session.
* Required to sleep naked. Unless it's really cold and I ask not to, or I have a bleeding vagina. He likes to keep some distance between him and menstrual blood.

Expectations I'd like but which are not practical or which we wouldn't be happy with:

* Wake when I do, sleep when I do. (meds and different metabolisms)
* Sleep in your cage. (Back issues)
* No clothing except uniforms.
* No posessions except things I'd given you. Huh, he's never brought this one up before. I'm glad this is on the "not gonna happen" list because no way I'd be remotely comfortable giving up, say, my dead father's wedding ring or the blanket my aunt made me.

Expectations I'd like:

* Preparation of breakfast every morning. (loosely defined, this means coffee and something baked that I can take and run).
* Wear of some kind of cuff all the time.
* Waiting by the door when I get home (this *might* be easier with something like this)

Things only I can change:
* More Play Time
(to be added to in a bit).
topthemonkey: (Default)

I got the monkey up early. Earlier than I think he would have liked, and dragged him to the nearby bagel store for breakfast. While normally I appreciate a good sleeping-in on the weekends, with the recent issues and Monkey's ability to sleep till way-too-late, I think it should be discouraged till we have a handle on things.

So I woke him up (with a crop -- have I mentioned I love this crop?
It's so useful for turning out the lights without getting out of bed -- either by flipping the switch with the crop, or by whapping the monkey till he turns out the lights). Anyway, I woke him up at about 9:30, brought him to breakfast, and then brought him to the library, where he was allowed to get a card (yes, I allow my slave to get a library card...guess some would say I'm not a real master :) )

We're there now -- I'm making use of the internet terminals, posting this through an encrypted link to a java ssh session I keep laying around for just such an emergency...I somehow think this could be a good routine to get the monkey into ever saturday. Bagels aside, it costs literally nothing...heck, it's even bikeable if we get to that point.

Meanwhile, I'm still here doing my usual thing...checking email, answering work tickets, and the like. Whereas a book store...I wouldn't have that luxury (for nothing) and anything the monkey would want to take home would cost me.

Of course, there's still a comic store to hit. (dun DUN dun).

topthemonkey: (Default)

The monkey has always had trouble with sleep since loooooooooong before we were together, for at least 12 or 13 years. From nightmares, to insomnia, to meds causing her to need more sleep than normal (by a LOT (not that much anymore, I think, since I got used to them). She's also had trouble with keeping my sleep schedule as any normal human being would (I need five hours a night when sufficiently left to my own drugs, meaning caffeine).

The monkey is also having trouble listening to her body telling her to eat. Well, yes, because I spent years training myself to ignore these messages.

Both of these things (hygiene (how is eating hygiene?) and sleep) are cautious indicators of depression.

For example, even though I've stressed this Wednesday, and made her wake up and eat some breakfast (which wasn't the best, it was donuts, but it was SOME food -- throughout the rest of the day, until I got home, she had eaten nothing more than tea with a little milk. I ate a second donut!)

Wednesday morning, with her mostly unconscious, I put the training collar back onto her ankle. For the uninitiated, this is your basic dog-training collar, zipped way small, and modified to accept a padlock through the buckle. She asked me Wednesday night if she could have it off, and I told her "no".

I woke her up yesterday morning, and she was literally begging to be allowed to return to bed.

Unfortunately, I don't feel I can trust her right now to do what needs to be done. Probably wise.

My rules are simple, right now. This is all I want:

  • I want a slave who will eat within an hour of waking.
  • I want a slave who will shower within an hour of waking.
  • I want a slave who will eat at least one more meal on her own thereafter.

Those two (nutrition and hygiene) are non-negotiable. Then, either of the following:

  • I either want a slave who will wake up with me. She'll be woken up when I do either way, to take her meds, but I want her to stay awake at that point.

-or-

  • I want a slave who will go to bed when I do. If I am getting tired, my slave should take that as a cue to encourage me to go to bed. If I am under some kind of deadline where I must stay up (this is worse now that I am no longer a three minute drive from the office) then she should differentiate that as "he should be asleep but has to stay up for work, however, I should still sleep." I totally suck at going to sleep by myself.

If possible, I'll take both of the above, a slave who will cuddle up to me at bedtime, and will wake up cheerfully (ha! me? wake up cheerfully?) and let me ahem use her before I go off to work. This could still ideally be accomplished by way of a mid-day power-nap (naps fuck me up, though I love them and sometimes need them) (so long as an alarm were used (I hate alarms)). Ideally, this could be done after lunchtime (the meal she always forgets to have) -- and doing so could even be made a condition of having eaten.

That's the basics. Another very important "basic" is Schoolwork. Not doing ANYTHING ELSE (housework, punishment writing assignments (which I've only had once), exercise) is excusable if schoolwork is the reason. But Schoolwork is a place I expect the monkey to be able to self-govern and trump me on priorities. But when the depression kicks into high gear . . .

Advanced Topics:

  • I want my dress code enforced. I like skirts, corsets, white button-down shirts, and clean white socks. I've bought these for my slave. I like school uniforms (male-styled or female) and am willing to buy those as well. I feel being allowed to dress in what the monkey likes is a privilege that shouldn't be considered "earned" just yet. I would wear t-shirts and jeans everyday if I could.

  • I want the monkey shaved. All the time. I'm willing to give this up if the monkey shows sufficient advancement in the above areas. I haaaaaaate shaving.

  • I want the monkey to get regular exercise. This means walking around our neighborhood, using the Wii-fit, playing DDR, using the exerbike we now posses in the garage, coming to work with me and using the exercise room there, etc.

  • I want the monkey a tad more independent. (Ironic.) Being comfortable with taking the bus-to-the-train-to-the-city, being quasi-able to get to her own therapy appointments (i.e. coming to work with me and finding her way from there). Getting a part time job, or a volunteer position (as a bonus, if she did this she wouldn't have to wear what I want, as the job would trump that -- so long as they were okay with her collar). If she gets a job I'd like to see her monies go into savings for the most part. I have no problems covering her -- the point to a job is more to help the way she feels, let her establish some savings. I wouldn't mind seeing her get a driver's license.

But....babysteps first.

UPDATE:

Last night, after telling the monkey "I'll be home late, feed yourself", I got home to find the monkey hadn't. So I fed her (not literally, though that would have been arousing), and then, before bed, I stripped her to her underwear and put her in her cage...I told her, sincerely, how important it was to me that she be able to take care of herself in these minor regards. I am no longer working 2 miles from home, I have an hour's commute now. I told her I was disappointed. I told her she needed to do better.

After talking to her sternly for a bit, I had her lay down on the bed and gave her a few strokes of our punishment-tool (which I'm at the moment calling the hydra). She bucked, hard, but didn't scream out. I'm proud of the way she took it. I don't like having to see her tense up and shake the way she did.

I have no problem with doing this until I don't have to anymore, i.e. until she learns. I'm traditionally a slow learner.

Back home, there were negative influences -- the other slave in the house routinely slept till  well past noon.

This morning, she got up with me, ate breakfast, showered, and called to ask permission to go back to bed. I granted it -- because I believe this acclimation will take time. A long time.

However, I expect to come home to find her wearing her cuffs. I expect her to have had another meal. I expect her to have a report for me of what schoolwork she's done.

These are Not Unreasonable Expectations.

If she's done these things, then maybe at bedtime her training anklet will come off. Of course, if it does, it's going to be kept right by the bed, at the ready, for the next few days/weeks.

I love my monkey, and this is going to be difficult.

topthemonkey: (Default)
Bold indicates it is currently or has been in practice, italics indicate that I have an interest in it.


Submissive Training Ideas )
topthemonkey: (Default)
It appears some changes are going to be made. I am, until further notice, forbidden from consuming porn. Watching it, downloading it, reading it. I am forbidden from having any on the Top's computers (these are all computers as I have none of my own at this time). I'm not sure how I feel about this.
topthemonkey: (Default)

Monkey and I are staying with another Master/Slave couple. I continue to say "temporarily" although desires have been expressed on all sides to make it a more permanent arrangement. That said, you may see some new players in this Journal. I'll generally refer to myself as "the top" in this Journal, and in general do not prefer the title "Master" for myself (although I'm working on accepting it as a "calling" in scene, i.e. "Yes Master" (I've always preferred "Sir") but not "Master D"). My philosophy has been, as it was in the past -- I've had business cards that read "CTO" of companies, but "System Admin" is what I *do*. It's an action word. Master is a title. And I've never been one for titles.

So for now, and for a while in the future, you may see an odd mishmash of alphabet soup here, dear readers.

In writing here, you may see my new housemate and partner in crime referred to as "The Master" or "The Master of the House" (Abbreviated: TMOTH) or something similar. I, for all intents and purposes, and in keeping true to the spirit of this blog, am to be referred to as "The Top". My partner will always be "The Monkey", regardless of what role she fulfills here, be it slave, submissive, or simply pet. For the record, I don't plan at this time to have any other partners of this nature, although I've given a few other people a few orders since I've been here. (That may be the subject of another post entirely). If/when I/we take up permanent residence in this house, this Journal's profile will be updated with these acronyms, including some well-anonymized info on other regulars, such as slaves the master may regularly be training.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled posting...

It's been noted in this journal that I've had trouble in the past getting the monkey to "call" when he's feeling at his limits. And this lack of communication has been frustrating enough that it's been maddening, especially during periods of intense pain play. During the Monkey's recent (first) flogging, this was one of my fears -- and while I was sitting there, ready to stop the scene if the unthinkable happened, I had not made it clear to TMOTH that there was a danger factor. Given, the monkey was well-restrained. Given, I could have handled the situation, and given, the Bad Things did not happen, but...

So, for whatever reason today, the Master's current slavegirl was sent up to the master's room. I took the opportunity to send the monkey up to hers as well, and to stand for a few minutes in the Kitchen and talk with TMOTH about things, basically covering things such as:

  • The need for certain "out of band" signaling in play between us.
  • Modifications to house rules such that we can give a single command and have the slaves clear the room so that we may talk. (I may have to get some sort of hearing protection devices for the slaves to wear during these times).
  • My reasons and logic for sending the Monkey back home.
  • My expectations and desires for what changes will happen upon her return.
  • A few "you should know about this, I should have told you about this before" items concerning the Monkey's flogging.
  • Some of my own history, that despite having known The Master for ten years, that I wasn't sure he knew.
  • Differences in our respective dynamics, and where we can come to a meeting of the minds (for example, the fact that we take to mean yellow where most people mean red -- or at least did in the past).

So, after I called the Monkey back down, and The Master had gone back upstairs for some alone-time with his slave, the monkey asked what we had talked about. And then kept asking if we had talked about specific things, and what was said.

While he asserts he didn't really "force the issue", I don't feel he adequately accepted the fact that he was sent out of the room so we could talk for a reason. He's now expressed concerns that nothing he's said will be in confidence (this is not the case -- but some information is important for people to know.) I feel I gave in too much and didn't take the "none of your business" stance hard enough.

Oddly, the monkey LIKES being talked about when he's in the room, as though he's not. Of course, there, the curiosity factor isn't in play.

I also pointed out that what I told The Master was for The Master's own caution and information, not to embarass or degrade the monkey. I made a judgment call to make certain information shared on a need-to-know basis, and the *only* reason it became a problem was because the monkey asked (and because the monkey noticed his "flogging" entry was up on-screen earlier). Otherwise I have every confidence that the information passed would have been handled with discretion and savoir-faire, and that it will not affect the severity or intensity of play, simply the case of "when I say back off and let me handle it, I mean it".


On a related note, I have the desire to post that, yes, I *am* sending the Monkey home for an indeterminate period of time. I will give some, but not all, of my reasons for doing so here:

  1. The monkey has business to take care of back there. Everything from returning library books to maxing out prescriptions, and making plans to change doctors. I need to know that she can be trusted to do so.
  2. I need to see that she can keep to standing orders even if left alone.
  3. I want her decision to join this house, and under what terms, to be a decision made not-under-duress (i.e. while she is here).
  4. I need some time to prepare for her return, in more than one way (for example, clearing a day or two of my work schedule to be clear to handle her).
  5. I need her to be ready for what this entails. I am not unwilling to rule out that to return here, she may need to be ready to accept a collar (other than the training one from petco she wears now). She has asserted that she wanted to know me for at least a year before accepting such...which would mean she'd be deferred till June, or have to retract that desire. Much as this feels like Blackmail, moving her in with me, having her change her legal residence, is NOT a decision I take lightly.
  6. Also in play is that while her home environment isn't the healthiest thing, they are family that she loves, and her visit time home will be limited thereafter.
  7. Not in the least, because when I came down here, the initial plan was that she would be coming with me to help, as a guest, and to get me through the move with some sanity. It was always in the plan that she would "follow me" down AFTER I had established a more permanent residence (OUTSIDE this place), after her stuff was taken care of. The fact that she is in all online courses this semester is convenient, and had to do with another, longer-distance move that was imminent (cross-country), that I decided not to do. Ultimately though, while convenient, it changes nothing. While I, for logistical reasons, can take on a more permanent residence at this place; going from guest to rent-paying tenant "instantly", I want her to come down "anew" whenever the next time is, entering domain I've established for me. And for that, a sabbatical is necessary.
  8. And finally, with respect to TMOTH and after the kindness and generosity he's already shown me at a moment's notice, I want her to be invited to live here, not slipped into the deal like a piece of my baggage. I want the question I ask of him, after MUCH discussion of the potential dynamic, to be "May she join us?", not "May she stay?" (I do not want the stigma of "Please mom, it followed me home!")

So much to do...

topthemonkey: (Default)
I believe the monkey and I are going to work on position training the next time I have her here.

This is something I believe every slavegirl should be skilled in. In my own writings (which I won't link to from this location), submissives are taught a standard set of five positions that they are ordered into.

And I believe, the next time the monkey crosses my threshhold, I'm simply going to tell her:

"Strip and get into first."

For those who don't know this secret language, that basically means nothing more than "stand and face the corner".

I expect her to drop all her clothing, save for any gear she's not allowed to remove.

And once in the corner, she will simply stand. Nothing more. No questions. No speaking. No motion.

Hands neatly at her sides, palms facing behind, or ourtward -- so there's no chance of her holding anything.

Any objection or questioning at all...will be dealt with sharply. Any attempts to move away from my touch, as I run my hands over her naked body, will gain punishment, as I run my hands through her hair, down her back, across her mound...she will be expected to simply be still, and submit. A single word from her lips that's not an answer to a direct question will be met with a slap or a light touch of the crop. (which will, of course, only be repeated if the touch causes her to break position).

Let us see how my monkey fares in this test.

You, dear readers, will know soon.
topthemonkey: (Default)
So as the rather humorous subject line of this post goes, yesterday the Monkey got their first dose of waxplay at my hand.  There was nothing poetic about it, but it was a rather hot scene (again, no pun intended).  The monkey was on her stomach, in a hog-tie restraint (all the cuffs locked), and gagged tightly with his favorite ball gag.  I started the waxplay, with a votive candle resting on the Monkey's back.  She snapped her fingers, (which translates to yellow) and expressed (after I de-gagged him) that they were afraid of me leaving the candle in contact with their skin.  So this required a change of tack: 

I took his large butt plug, and told the monkey she was going to have to wear it (after all, why had she brought it if not).  The monkey called yellow at one point, was crying, gasping at this point, but I looked him in the eye, and told him, once and only once: "Take it.  That's an order.  You know where you'll be going if you break a direct order." (*)  There were a lot of tears, and quite a bit of Astroglide, and some slowdown to what I might expect later in the future, but the plug finally was placed in.

Once it was in, I returned to the wax.  I tried with a regular unscented taper candle, but the steady drip-drip-drip was too much (and not unlike a hot version of the Chinese Water Torture) and the monkey called the final "yellow" of the evening.  So I decided to go with the "let it melt and toss it" method, which basically involves throwing the wax from one candle while waiting for the other to melt (and also, carefully scuplting the candles as they soften for optimal speed-melting).  The more candles you get in rotation, the larger the dosage per-shot.  In this case I would say it was about a half-teaspoon per.  We went through most of two scented votive candles, mostly along the back and butt, but a few splashes along the arms, and even one carefully down the monkey's right cheek.  This went on for a while, until I would estimate I had a 75 percent coverage of her back.  Once the "Shell" was good and hard, I took the crop, and shattered most of the wax over her with five or six well-placed but relatively light strikes.  The monkey expressed some discomfort at her plug, so I removed it, and then threw some more wax just for good measure, and removed her restraints and brought her downstairs while I made dinner.

He mentioned that he had been in and out of sub-space several times during the scene (but later mentioned that they didn't feel I did enough "aftercare" (i.e. resassurance and cool-down post-scene).)

(The astute reader will note I am swapping gender-pronouns.  They refer to the same individual, but this is something we engage in in the bedroom, and since the purpose of this journal is to be nothing less than candid, the practice will hold here.)

Later that night, and after dinner, as we were cuddling and getting ready for bed, I ordered him to lick my nipple for a while.  it got me quite aroused so I had the monkey go down on me, fucking her mouth until I came.  Before I unloaded, I told her: "You're going to swallow, or it's the basement."  She got me off, and she really tried hard, but her gag reflex was too strong and she coughed it back out on me.

I felt so bad for her, there was a part of me that wants her trained in this, but at the same time, she's trying very hard, so as she lay down next to me, depressed, I rubbed the monkey head for good luck, and told her that I could ask nothing more than her best, and that she would learn, eventually, and she was not going to be punished because she had tried.

(*)I also find it amusing to note that it's been at least a few days since the monkey has needed her behavior corrected in any manner.  Clearly, this one adapts well and learns quickly.  And like any space monkey, they know that the first rule is that you do not ask questions. :)

My name is D, and I am in love with a space monkey.

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