topthemonkey: (Default)
This is everything, I suppose, that I expect from my slavegirl.
Standing Expectations:
Note: some of these are obvious.

* Not allowed to self-harm
* Not allowed to drink alcohol without asking
* Not allowed ice cream without asking or gelato or sorbet or frozen custard or frozen yogurt
* Not allowed to smoke (anything).
* Not allowed to call herself stupid, or say demeaning things of herself.
* Not allowed to be alone with X. (Mentioned in other entries).
* Not allowed to masturbate without permission.

* Expected to wear collar 24/7. Which is pretty easy since it's locked on.
* Expected to accept compliments graciously. I think this means without scowling/protesting/glowering
* Expected to lay out my clothing each morning. Or the night before.
* Expected to shower and eat a meal within an hour of waking.
* Expected always have water, medication, and a snack (like an energy bar) when we go out.
* Expected to get me off if asked. Does not have to be with the aid of an orifice.
* Expected (in general) to call me Sir.
* Expected to do laundry. Before the Top runs out of pants (this has happened several times).

Expectations We've played with (only apply if noted)

* Required to ask to leave my presence, unless ordered to do so. (Currently trying this).
* Required to ask to get into my bed.
* Required to shave body regularly.
* Required to wear uniform (skirt/shirt).
* Required to do schoolwork of various types. When school is in session.
* Required to sleep naked. Unless it's really cold and I ask not to, or I have a bleeding vagina. He likes to keep some distance between him and menstrual blood.

Expectations I'd like but which are not practical or which we wouldn't be happy with:

* Wake when I do, sleep when I do. (meds and different metabolisms)
* Sleep in your cage. (Back issues)
* No clothing except uniforms.
* No posessions except things I'd given you. Huh, he's never brought this one up before. I'm glad this is on the "not gonna happen" list because no way I'd be remotely comfortable giving up, say, my dead father's wedding ring or the blanket my aunt made me.

Expectations I'd like:

* Preparation of breakfast every morning. (loosely defined, this means coffee and something baked that I can take and run).
* Wear of some kind of cuff all the time.
* Waiting by the door when I get home (this *might* be easier with something like this)

Things only I can change:
* More Play Time
(to be added to in a bit).
topthemonkey: (Default)

I friend of mine recently posted in her own journal about being "tired of BDSM relationships that border on abuse".

For whatever reason, this morning, I was thinking a lot about this statement. I haven't been able to reach her to get her to confirm/deny if we were a relationship she was talking about, but...

Yes, admittedly, there are times where The Monkey has to endure pain as a result of her performance (or lack thereof).
While a more domly-dom-mc-dom-dom (Excuse me, sir, but it's "Domly Dom McDomdom") might say it's for (say)...not swallowing after sex, or failure to orgasm on command, the Monkey's currently being trained on doing things like cleaning up our room, or not to take missteps as major failures, or not to hurt herself or get down on herself. (Letting her get down on others...is a special treat for both of us, but I digress).

So, still being critical, how could this be interpreted as abusive?

Forcing her to dress in clothes I like (and buy?)...I suppose this is more "confining" than restrictive.

Forcing her to shave her body hair? Interesting point, but at the current time, she does it voluntarily, "because it makes me feel more submissive to you". (Well, yes, but I do it pretty much when I feel guilty for messing up.)

Not allowing her to orgasm? In general, if she asks, she may have it. Unless I'm planning something. Usually, when she gets it and I'm not around, she's ordered into her gear, and has to go lay in her cage to get herself off.

Removing her right to have things like pride and modesty? When lifestyle events are happening around the house, having her strip to her skivvies (or further?)...

I mean, yes, there are a few "standing threats"...things that may happen to her that she's afraid of. She may lose some of her hair if she loses control of herself again, to the point of attempting to hurt me. And yes, I'm displeased every time I come home and after a day of relaxing, find the bed unmade, or sex toys still out in the bathroom after use (instead of being washed and away), but she doesn't get beaten all the time (this phrasing isn't doing you any favors, sir)-- this is something we need to work on, slowly.

So then, in the just-woke-up hours of the morning: I pondered telling her: try it before you criticize it. I don't think that's fair. So what if it's not something she's comfortable trying? I don't think that impairs her ability to analyze it. But from the accusation, I wondered. Would it be possible to take on a submissive, with none of the above? No pain? No Embarassment?
No fear?

Yes. Yes it would. And it's more than possible. It's what I strive for, every day. So does he mean that it's possible with a perfectly trained submissive? The monkey is not my prisoner, she can leave any time she likes. Well, yes, but there are consequences. Another slave in our house is not allowed to say no to sex, and while the monkey cannot herself stand that enforcement, it's not forced on her. Everything that's given to her, she wants, or I believe she at least wants the results of. I agree. Beyond all of which, she wants to please me. She wants to serve me. Does she need to serve me, in order for me to love her? No. I don't love her any less when she falters. But my place is to train her. And the methods we have are what we accept.

She's allowed to comment here, of course, and will make any additional thoughts known.

This entry doesn't quite feel done, but will be continued in another post.

my uniform

Feb. 24th, 2008 12:00 pm
topthemonkey: (Default)
For reasons which may or may not have been mentioned in the past, at the Top's previous residence I was unable to wear my uniform, basically because its nature offended certain parties. Now this is not the case.

My uniform consists of: short black skirt, white button-up top, white ankle socks, the black pet collar I have been wearing as of late, the Top's black leather ankle and wrist cuffs.
Every day, after I shower (which is to be no more than an hour after waking) until it's time to get ready for bed.

My main complaint was that I was incredibly cold. Now the Top permits me to wear clothing under the uniform.

My new main complaint is that wearing this every day, for a minimum of, oh, 10 hours is boring. Very, very boring.

Those of you who know me at least fairly well in the real world know that I primarily dress for comfort. I like t-shirts and cargo pants. I like playing dress-up, but not for more than a few hours at a time.
I own a lot of black, but I have clothing in a variety of colors [notably shades of green and pink (yes, I know, pink)] and I almost never wear white. I have some short skirts for when I feel the urge to wear them, but I have a strong preference for long skirts. I have a Tzniut fetish, what can I say.

The white button-down shirts, as well as most of the skirts I have been wearing were purchased by the Top for this express purpose.

One of my favorite websites to drool over is Sock Dreams ("unique, sexy socks for unique, sexy people"). I can and have spent hours on that website. I don't favor ankle socks and I especially don't favor white socks. I love knee-high socks. The Top dislikes them as he thinks my calves are one (or two?) of my sexiest physical attributes.

The Top has mentioned a few times, as recently as 2 minutes ago, letting me have a casual day. This is all well and good but not what I'm driving at. I realize he's well within his prerogative here and would feel guilty if he completely acquiesced to my wishes.
But I feel like the employee of a catering hall. Just one who is not allowed to change when the shift ends.

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