how perfect is this freakin' icon?!

Recently we were at our local dungeon and the Top expressed an interest in using the fucking machine, which looks like this. We hadn't played at all yet that night. Neither of us had ever seen the fucking machine used before. Depending on who is there, you either use your own dildo or put a condom over one of theirs. The Top and I looked at the very limited supply of vac-u-lock dildos. There were more, but nobody there knew precisely where they were kept. It didn't really matter though, because there was this lovely dildo and we purchased that. The Top wanted to use it immediately.

We went to the medical room, the Top got the fucking machine and set it up on the bed. There was a young man sitting across from us and watching us set up, which made me slightly uncomfortable but I didn't want to say anything. The Top ordered me to strip and position myself on my back. I put down a sheet first. I had gotten some water-based lube from one of the safer sex stations, as we had not brought any of our own, and the Top put some of it on my vagina.

Then he basically shoved the dildo inside me with the fucking machine on a very low setting. I gasped, as this was a bit sudden. I told him that it would have been helpful if he had warmed me up a bit first, so he took the dildo out and started to finger fuck me. It was very uncomfortable: he had not trimmed his nails recently, they were pretty long; he wasn't wearing a glove; he wasn't easing me into it at all (which sometimes is fine, but this time it wasn't). It just felt very cold, but not in that hot, I'm going to use you kind of way. So that pretty much just sucked. He stopped and inserted the dildo again, and started the machine on a low setting.

It was really nice. I'm not 100% sure of the order of events, so perhaps the Top can chime in here. I do recall the following things happened: he rubbed my clit a lot; at some point he sucked on my clit; people came in and out of the room; some people stopped and watched; he knelt by my head, fucked my mouth in a way that really hurt my jaw, and jerked off on my chest; and I rubbed my own clit.

At some point he turned the machine up and it was even better. He gave me the control so I could try different settings myself. I had to ask him at least once to add more lube. One time he dripped some water on the area to reactivate the water-based lube, but it was so much water that it soaked the sheet beneath me and was really uncomfortable. At a certain point I told him I wanted to try to orgasm without clitoral stimulation. This MIGHT have worked but there was an electrical burning smell (which turned out to be from the people using the TES unit nearby) and the Top wanted to stop, so we did.

I just sort of laid there for several minutes after, drinking water, breathing deeply, trying to collect myself. When I felt more stable I stumbled naked to the bathroom with my underwear and cleaned up. The Top's cum had dripped into my hair and dried there and the smell was really bothering me so I used the sink to wash my hair. I was really worn out emotionally and physically so we spent the rest of the night in the social area, just sitting on the couches and chatting. I was honestly ready to leave after I finished cleaning myself up, but the Top wanted to stay and help clean up the dungeon after play, which we ended up doing.

The whole thing was very intense and made me feel really vulnerable. Several times I was on the verge of tears, but not because of sadness or happiness. The Top has difficulty understanding this, but from conversations with others I don't think it's so unusual.

The Top really wanted me to have a clitoral orgasm and was disappointed that I didn't. I had several g-spot orgasms, which I almost NEVER have, and I'm sure I would have ejaculated a lot if I had pulled the dildo out at the right time, but I decided against that. I'm not sorry I didn't have any clitoral orgasms, because I loved it and it's not like I can never use the thing again.

Unfortunate outcome: the seal around the base of the dildo took such a beating it's starting to come apart. Not sure if this matters.


THINGS I WOULD DO DIFFERENTLY NEXT TIME:
-Get straws for the water bottles.
-Put the water bottles on the floor next to the bed, not on the mattress.
-Put down more than one sheet.
-Have a blindfold and earplugs handy, though I don't think I'd want to use both of them the entire time.
-Bring rope so I can be tied down at least somewhat and have something to grab onto.
-Ask the Top to use gloves the whole time.
-Foreplay.

the economy sucks (but not so much for us . . .)

The Top and I both belong to a bdsm social networking site. I'm far more active on it than he is, though that's not saying much. Often finances and employment come up in discussion. The Dom(me) out of work and depressed, for example.

I feel kind of guilty when I see those threads.

The Top has a job he loves that pays well. If something were to happen and he lost that job (though I honestly can't fathom what would cause this), he has the skills, experience, and references to get another job in the same pay grade immediately. Plus there is at least one company that's still after him, even though he rejected them.
I got a job but we don't need it to survive. It's for me to buy comics and shoes, pretty much.

I don't know anybody who has NO money issues, but ours are very limited. It's not like I go shopping at Bloomingdale's every weekend or something but I never doubt that we'll have a comfortable place to live, more than enough to eat, excellent insurance.

Sometimes I wonder how much more difficult my service would be were this not the case. "Significantly" is my guess.

I'm really lucky and I know it.

"Boss, this is a thing of beauty."

I have never engaged in knife play, with the Top or any other partner, but I am very curious about it.

Knife play used to be a hard limit, due to my past issues with self-injury (cutting) but over the years I've gotten more and more curious.

I have a "thing" for knives. They turn me on. I'm not entirely sure where this comes from. I was a lot more comfortable with it when I was a teenager, then not so comfortable when my cutting got more frequent and severe, and I guess now I'm back to comfortable.

There is one knife that we do not own but just the thought if its tip trailing along my body gets me squirming. Gil Hibben's "The Jackal" notable for its use in Star Trek Nemesis and season 3 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I'm a huge Buffy fangirl. This is the knife that the mayor gives to Faith when they join forces and, well, I'll not spoil it.

The knife shows up on ebay pretty often, usually for about $250. Of course, now that I have a job and could actually buy it myself I haven't seen it there.

I am hesitant to use the "toys" tag on this entry because it's Faith's knife, it's not like it's just a dildo or something.