topthemonkey

Monkey and I are staying with another Master/Slave couple. I continue to say "temporarily" although desires have been expressed on all sides to make it a more permanent arrangement. That said, you may see some new players in this Journal. I'll generally refer to myself as "the top" in this Journal, and in general do not prefer the title "Master" for myself (although I'm working on accepting it as a "calling" in scene, i.e. "Yes Master" (I've always preferred "Sir") but not "Master D"). My philosophy has been, as it was in the past -- I've had business cards that read "CTO" of companies, but "System Admin" is what I *do*. It's an action word. Master is a title. And I've never been one for titles.

So for now, and for a while in the future, you may see an odd mishmash of alphabet soup here, dear readers.

In writing here, you may see my new housemate and partner in crime referred to as "The Master" or "The Master of the House" (Abbreviated: TMOTH) or something similar. I, for all intents and purposes, and in keeping true to the spirit of this blog, am to be referred to as "The Top". My partner will always be "The Monkey", regardless of what role she fulfills here, be it slave, submissive, or simply pet. For the record, I don't plan at this time to have any other partners of this nature, although I've given a few other people a few orders since I've been here. (That may be the subject of another post entirely). If/when I/we take up permanent residence in this house, this Journal's profile will be updated with these acronyms, including some well-anonymized info on other regulars, such as slaves the master may regularly be training.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled posting...

It's been noted in this journal that I've had trouble in the past getting the monkey to "call" when he's feeling at his limits. And this lack of communication has been frustrating enough that it's been maddening, especially during periods of intense pain play. During the Monkey's recent (first) flogging, this was one of my fears -- and while I was sitting there, ready to stop the scene if the unthinkable happened, I had not made it clear to TMOTH that there was a danger factor. Given, the monkey was well-restrained. Given, I could have handled the situation, and given, the Bad Things did not happen, but...

So, for whatever reason today, the Master's current slavegirl was sent up to the master's room. I took the opportunity to send the monkey up to hers as well, and to stand for a few minutes in the Kitchen and talk with TMOTH about things, basically covering things such as:

• The need for certain "out of band" signaling in play between us.
• Modifications to house rules such that we can give a single command and have the slaves clear the room so that we may talk. (I may have to get some sort of hearing protection devices for the slaves to wear during these times).
• My reasons and logic for sending the Monkey back home.
• My expectations and desires for what changes will happen upon her return.
• A few "you should know about this, I should have told you about this before" items concerning the Monkey's flogging.
• Some of my own history, that despite having known The Master for ten years, that I wasn't sure he knew.
• Differences in our respective dynamics, and where we can come to a meeting of the minds (for example, the fact that we take to mean yellow where most people mean red -- or at least did in the past).

So, after I called the Monkey back down, and The Master had gone back upstairs for some alone-time with his slave, the monkey asked what we had talked about. And then kept asking if we had talked about specific things, and what was said.

While he asserts he didn't really "force the issue", I don't feel he adequately accepted the fact that he was sent out of the room so we could talk for a reason. He's now expressed concerns that nothing he's said will be in confidence (this is not the case -- but some information is important for people to know.) I feel I gave in too much and didn't take the "none of your business" stance hard enough.

Oddly, the monkey LIKES being talked about when he's in the room, as though he's not. Of course, there, the curiosity factor isn't in play.

I also pointed out that what I told The Master was for The Master's own caution and information, not to embarass or degrade the monkey. I made a judgment call to make certain information shared on a need-to-know basis, and the *only* reason it became a problem was because the monkey asked (and because the monkey noticed his "flogging" entry was up on-screen earlier). Otherwise I have every confidence that the information passed would have been handled with discretion and savoir-faire, and that it will not affect the severity or intensity of play, simply the case of "when I say back off and let me handle it, I mean it".

On a related note, I have the desire to post that, yes, I *am* sending the Monkey home for an indeterminate period of time. I will give some, but not all, of my reasons for doing so here:

1. The monkey has business to take care of back there. Everything from returning library books to maxing out prescriptions, and making plans to change doctors. I need to know that she can be trusted to do so.
2. I need to see that she can keep to standing orders even if left alone.
3. I want her decision to join this house, and under what terms, to be a decision made not-under-duress (i.e. while she is here).
4. I need some time to prepare for her return, in more than one way (for example, clearing a day or two of my work schedule to be clear to handle her).
5. I need her to be ready for what this entails. I am not unwilling to rule out that to return here, she may need to be ready to accept a collar (other than the training one from petco she wears now). She has asserted that she wanted to know me for at least a year before accepting such...which would mean she'd be deferred till June, or have to retract that desire. Much as this feels like Blackmail, moving her in with me, having her change her legal residence, is NOT a decision I take lightly.
6. Also in play is that while her home environment isn't the healthiest thing, they are family that she loves, and her visit time home will be limited thereafter.
7. Not in the least, because when I came down here, the initial plan was that she would be coming with me to help, as a guest, and to get me through the move with some sanity. It was always in the plan that she would "follow me" down AFTER I had established a more permanent residence (OUTSIDE this place), after her stuff was taken care of. The fact that she is in all online courses this semester is convenient, and had to do with another, longer-distance move that was imminent (cross-country), that I decided not to do. Ultimately though, while convenient, it changes nothing. While I, for logistical reasons, can take on a more permanent residence at this place; going from guest to rent-paying tenant "instantly", I want her to come down "anew" whenever the next time is, entering domain I've established for me. And for that, a sabbatical is necessary.
8. And finally, with respect to TMOTH and after the kindness and generosity he's already shown me at a moment's notice, I want her to be invited to live here, not slipped into the deal like a piece of my baggage. I want the question I ask of him, after MUCH discussion of the potential dynamic, to be "May she join us?", not "May she stay?" (I do not want the stigma of "Please mom, it followed me home!")

So much to do...