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topthemonkey"24/7" and "Total Power Exchange" (TPE) are two of the most loaded terms in the bdsm lexicon. They're right up there with "real slave." And if you read back a bit you know how much I love THAT phrase.
The Top has used these terms to define our relationship. We've discussed our definitions of them minimally, enough to find that they coincided.
I've had many discussions (and arguments) with people over the past two years or so over what these terms mean. By people, I'm specifically talking about slaves/submissives/bottoms, some of whom defined their current or past relationships as TPE and/or 24/7.
In Public Sex, Pat Califia discusses the various types of S/M scenes he's interested and then states: "On the other hand, I might also want to put on my flannel jammies and watch Bringing Up Baby. If I can't have my evenings off with cocoa and animal crackers, I don't want to be your Bitch Goddess" (243).
This is part of a larger argument for S/M couples having "off time." I'd like to note, for the record, that the Top and I have watched Bringing Up Baby together at home, though I don't recall if I was wearing pajamas at the time.
I didn't think that we were having "off time". We were still Top and monkey . . . we were just watching Bringing Up Baby.
I don't think these concepts are concrete. I don't think they mean the same thing to everyone and I don't think they should. Perhaps it's easier to say what 24/7 and TPE *don't* mean (to me).
The dynamic is always there, but it doesn't mean that the Top controls every aspect of my life. That's micromanaging and a)he hardly has time for that what with being a workaholic, b)neither of us have any interest in that.
That doesn't make us less 24/7 or TPE. This doesn't make me less of a "real" slave.
It doesn't mean we never tease each other.
It doesn't mean I'm not allowed to think for myself, or say what I think.
It doesn't mean he controls what books I read or what movies I watch or what music I listen to.
At the end of the night, right before we fall asleep, the Top and I talk about the day. I'm allowed to say what I want to. He can take this away from me.
I have safewords. He can take them away from me.
I think 24/7 and TPE are associated too much with micromanaging and not enough with mindset and headspace.
When we were watching Bringing Up Baby, I don't remember whether I was dressed in uniform or my pajamas. The movie was my choice.
Do these things mean that our dynamic wasn't in play? No.
The Top has used these terms to define our relationship. We've discussed our definitions of them minimally, enough to find that they coincided.
I've had many discussions (and arguments) with people over the past two years or so over what these terms mean. By people, I'm specifically talking about slaves/submissives/bottoms, some of whom defined their current or past relationships as TPE and/or 24/7.
In Public Sex, Pat Califia discusses the various types of S/M scenes he's interested and then states: "On the other hand, I might also want to put on my flannel jammies and watch Bringing Up Baby. If I can't have my evenings off with cocoa and animal crackers, I don't want to be your Bitch Goddess" (243).
This is part of a larger argument for S/M couples having "off time." I'd like to note, for the record, that the Top and I have watched Bringing Up Baby together at home, though I don't recall if I was wearing pajamas at the time.
I didn't think that we were having "off time". We were still Top and monkey . . . we were just watching Bringing Up Baby.
I don't think these concepts are concrete. I don't think they mean the same thing to everyone and I don't think they should. Perhaps it's easier to say what 24/7 and TPE *don't* mean (to me).
The dynamic is always there, but it doesn't mean that the Top controls every aspect of my life. That's micromanaging and a)he hardly has time for that what with being a workaholic, b)neither of us have any interest in that.
That doesn't make us less 24/7 or TPE. This doesn't make me less of a "real" slave.
It doesn't mean we never tease each other.
It doesn't mean I'm not allowed to think for myself, or say what I think.
It doesn't mean he controls what books I read or what movies I watch or what music I listen to.
At the end of the night, right before we fall asleep, the Top and I talk about the day. I'm allowed to say what I want to. He can take this away from me.
I have safewords. He can take them away from me.
I think 24/7 and TPE are associated too much with micromanaging and not enough with mindset and headspace.
When we were watching Bringing Up Baby, I don't remember whether I was dressed in uniform or my pajamas. The movie was my choice.
Do these things mean that our dynamic wasn't in play? No.
