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something a bit different
Oct. 1st, 2008 12:21 amSlavery-well, service, I suppose I should say, as that is more accurate-serving the Top comes easiest to me when I imagine myself to be a cross between Jeeves and Spider Jerusalem's filthy assistants.
We're watching Iron Man right now. The character that Gwenyth Paltrow plays, Pepper Pots, this is one of the people I have imagined myself becoming.
That's odd, isn't it? Don't people normally want to be the center of attention, the one with all the power?
But I've always imagined myself as the one planning, organizing, technically behind the scenes but still very well-dressed. Not a servant exactly, something else. And not being less important than whomever I would be serving.
They say that behind every great man is a great woman. This is a cliche and does not adequately express the value of the work women do and have always done, supporting men who do Important Things.
As an example I'd like to point to John Milton. One day I went to the New York Public Library with my aunt and my mother. We saw Mihály Munkácsy’s painting "The Blind Milton Dictating 'Paradise Lost' to His Daughters." My aunt expressed something I am a bit ashamed to say I had not thought of: she felt pity for his daughters, sitting there day after day writing down Milton's words.
After looking this up about 5 minutes ago I found out that Milton hired "amanuensis" to take the dictation. Delacroix also did a painting of Milton dictating to his daughters. I can't determine to what degree this is factual. At least one of the daughters occassionally took dictation.
But this is all beside the point, perhaps. /tangent
My point is, I never wanted to be that woman, those daughters. I never wanted to be the woman behind the man. I never wanted to be the selfless, submissive, invisible person whose constant work and dedication allowed the other person to achieve great things. I never wanted-
and yet, aren't I?
Here I am, on the other side of the country, because the Top wanted me to come. I do the laundry, cook, clean, don't complain when I only see him awake for an hour or two, because this is what he needs to take care of me: he needs me to take care of him. And I do. And I do it gladly. I strive to be as selfless and constant as Jeeves.
But like the filthy assistants, I maintain my own sense of self and neither myself nor the Top view me as less than his equal. We're on different ends of the spectrum, in different roles, but we couldn't be the Top and the monkey without each other.
We're watching Iron Man right now. The character that Gwenyth Paltrow plays, Pepper Pots, this is one of the people I have imagined myself becoming.
That's odd, isn't it? Don't people normally want to be the center of attention, the one with all the power?
But I've always imagined myself as the one planning, organizing, technically behind the scenes but still very well-dressed. Not a servant exactly, something else. And not being less important than whomever I would be serving.
They say that behind every great man is a great woman. This is a cliche and does not adequately express the value of the work women do and have always done, supporting men who do Important Things.
As an example I'd like to point to John Milton. One day I went to the New York Public Library with my aunt and my mother. We saw Mihály Munkácsy’s painting "The Blind Milton Dictating 'Paradise Lost' to His Daughters." My aunt expressed something I am a bit ashamed to say I had not thought of: she felt pity for his daughters, sitting there day after day writing down Milton's words.
After looking this up about 5 minutes ago I found out that Milton hired "amanuensis" to take the dictation. Delacroix also did a painting of Milton dictating to his daughters. I can't determine to what degree this is factual. At least one of the daughters occassionally took dictation.
But this is all beside the point, perhaps. /tangent
My point is, I never wanted to be that woman, those daughters. I never wanted to be the woman behind the man. I never wanted to be the selfless, submissive, invisible person whose constant work and dedication allowed the other person to achieve great things. I never wanted-
and yet, aren't I?
Here I am, on the other side of the country, because the Top wanted me to come. I do the laundry, cook, clean, don't complain when I only see him awake for an hour or two, because this is what he needs to take care of me: he needs me to take care of him. And I do. And I do it gladly. I strive to be as selfless and constant as Jeeves.
But like the filthy assistants, I maintain my own sense of self and neither myself nor the Top view me as less than his equal. We're on different ends of the spectrum, in different roles, but we couldn't be the Top and the monkey without each other.
