Benny and Joon

The Top insisted that we watch this movie tonight. It makes him happy. One of the two title characters, Joon, is a paranoid schizophrenic. I am very scared that I will become schizophrenic in my 30's [the most common age for schizophrenia to manifest (I'm in my early-mid-twenties for those of you who don't know)] as happened to two of my relatives.So far it hasn't been triggering but we're less than half an hour in and I understand there's a hospital scene (I'm guessing relating to Joon's mental illness) and I'm a bit nervous. I've been having an  . . . off day, to begin with.

I don't know if it makes me pleased or upset that the thought that this would trigger me didn't even occur to the Top. It just makes him happy and he wanted to share it with me. This is the part where I get down on myself and think about how nothing can be simple and I have to complicate everything and sully this film that the Top enjoys so much with my stupid mental illness issues.