masochism, part II

I've been reading/hearing a lot about masochism lately. Well, not really about masochism, more like people saying "I'm a masochist" or "I'm a painslut."

(Sidenote: I tried to write about this before but didn't get any replies and didn't really work anything out on my own.)

I feel like I'm not a masochist. I'm not a pain slut. I can't call myself these things without feeling like I'm just trying to fit in, silly as that might sound. But at the same time I feel like I'm supposed to be these things.

But recently I've given myself permission to ask for pain, to enjoy it, without labeling it or myself. That was really hard. But it's been really rewarding for the Top and myself. The Top certainly seems delighted with this development. -grin-